LUTHER AT MAGDEBURG
The wagon swayed from side to side as it navigated the sinewy dirt roads. Martin Luther, bundled up in the back, stared sightlessly into the distance allowing his body to follow the motion. His face was pale and gaunt, punctuated by streaks of grime. His thin hands cradled a sack filled with his belonging that lay in his lap. The cold wind whistled around his head but he seemed indifferent to it as it tugged at the rough, threadbare cloak that hung over his shoulders. To anyone who saw him he looked like a typical German peasant; browbeaten and despairing under the weight of his lot, but if you were to take a closer look there was something about his large, expressive blue eyes that hinted at something greater.
He was being transported from Magdeburg to Eisenach at the request of his father. His parents had sent him to the school at Magdeburg in the hopes that he might escape the poverty that had settled over them. His father wanted him to become a lawyer. The problem was that he had no money, at least not enough money to send his son to school but the school at Magdeburg made provisions for such eventualities. The school was a chorister school. A place where poor scholars had the option of working odd jobs in the local parish church to make ends meet and of singing from door to door to fill their bellies.
Singing from door to door was terrifying and mortifying work. Even now as he replayed scene after scene in his mind Luther shuddered. The insults, physical abuse, and curses flashed across his mind’s eye in a parade of wretchedness. Oh, how he hated every single moment of it! But there was no way around it. No other way to fill his empty stomach than to sing and beg for his food from door to door. But the people of Magdeburg had little time or sympathy for chorister scholars. Luther’s teacher at the school, a gnarled, melancholy Franciscan friar who specialized in anointing and burying the dead would glare down at him when he returned to the school with yet another empty sack.
“You should just go back to where you came from Boy” he would snarl under his breath “peasants should know their place. What right do you think you have to an education? Your place is with your father working in the mines! As if a boy such as yourself could amount to anything of value”
The words stung but deep inside Luther himself had entertained the same thoughts over and over again.
What am I doing here?
Night after night as he fell exhausted onto his hard, cold bed, the walls of his stomach contracting in hunger, his mind had given way to despair as he contemplated the realities of his life. So deep was the despair that pressed in on him that at times he wondered if he would lose his mind.
He had no one to turn to. No friends, no mentors, no one. Not even God. The God he had been introduced to was not someone he could turn to in his trials. And so he struggled alone, despairing, desponding and occasionally in utter desperation pleading with God to deliver him, to provide some way of relief from the crushing load that pressed against his heart.
But did God hear? Did he care?
Tears welled up in his eyes and spilled down his cheeks, tracing a path through the grime. He hurriedly wiped them away with his fists, willing himself to get a grip on his emotions. The wagon rattled on down the road towards Eisenach which was to be his new home. He hadn’t been able to make ends meet in Magdeburg and so his father had made arrangements to transport him to another Chorister School in Eisenach.
Another Chorister School. More of the same humiliation and hunger just in a different location.
Luther felt tears pricking his eyes and he angrily fought them back. He couldn’t cry. He just couldn’t. He was afraid that if he did, the dam would burst and give way to the kind of uncontrolled hysteria that no self-respecting boy of 14 should ever indulge in. He sucked in a deep steadying breath and focused on the wooden floor of the wagon.
I must be brave he chanted to himself in desperation I must be brave.